Its only for those who understand

She wrote with panache. All that anger in her, she penned it down with grace. The queen of satire. People read her ,loved her, and above all agreed to her.
But then all this came with some criticism. Anyways, that was a part of her work.

One day she met a guy. A guy who was unaware of the world. Always jovial. Carefree.
For her, it was love at first sight.
For him, he didnot care.

She approached him, but again he took her casually. She tried a lot to impress him. But then he didnot budge. Some people are not made for that love thingy,u know.

Her heart broke. She was angry and she wrote more about it. That was known as her best work. Uncriticised work.

Moral of the story: If someone broke your heart, write about it, It definitely helps!!!

Read More

The three phases

Phase 1: An engineer enters into an IIM with loads of expectations and dreams. Pay package, reputation in the society, recognition, fast cars,materialism,hot chicks, work-hard-party-harder amuse him. He is like everyone, same night outs, same submissions, same group work. Cliched idea of life.

Phase 2: Seeks fun in free-riding. Realises money is not everything. Only quality life amuses him. Wants to travel, see places.He blogs. He clicks pictures.He plays guitar.

Phase 3: Nothing amuses him.


**Lately I have indulged in lots of self-marketing.I m done with it. And trust me this post is a last nail in that coffin of my personal marketing.

Read More

My ideal girl..

***This post contains some explicit words.

She should be a girl from the Indian villages who:

1. who'd wear a red lipstick n funny heels on our honeymoon in ooty.

2.and she'd be holdin on to my shirt the whole time.

3.yaa n wen i go for office then she will touch my feet n do the whole "mera pati mera bhagwaan" nautanki n pack aloo ki sabzi for me

4.she wont even take my name and wen i wud b in office then she will sit in the drawing room n read books like " learn angrezi in 10 days".

5. n then one night the poor lil thing will try her best to seduce me n wear sexy lingrie n be like "lets have saxxxx".

6. To spice up my bland saaaxxx life I might as well be havin an affair wid the office secretary

7.she will get better but till then half of my hair will be gone.
_______________________________________________________________________________
PS: All above are the statements coming from devilish mind of Sapna Dandona(name changed).Thanx Sapna for helping me visualise my bright future.
PPS: I dont mean to offend anyone here and I also don't intend to be a chauvinist.

Read More

The girl, the hope and the retrospection

Given a wish, I wud like to eradicate poverty..Not that I am any guy who is all for charity but yes some-times(rather many times) I see poverty and it bugs me..

I will tell you about this little girl who is from my home town. This girl taught me that hope was the greatest thing which keeps u alive. Her father does not work and mother cleans utensils in our nearby. I asked this girl wat she wanted to be.... This girl just wanted to be rich.. She said-" I study and thats why one day I will b rich".(I am going home this december and wud add the pic of the girl to the post).

I like going back to my hometown and see wats my roots are..I have been a hosteler since I was 8 year old..I hated it then because we have 4 hour electricity and only doordarshan in TV..There were times i wanted to run away. But now I vie to be there..I love to sit on the roof and observe or read or retrospect.. I remember going to my boarding school and not being able to be a part of discussion about serials on Sony or Zee.

Anyways things are improving in my home-town..Now schools are there..The government has allowed free cycles to girls who go to school and the parents see some compensation in sending there child to school..But there are miles to go....

Anyways this post of mine was not written nonchalantly!!

Read More

I can't write about.....

hi guys,
I came here to write and this time I m not drunk. So if I suck ,I am to be blamed unlike the last post where the advising lady stole all the limelight.

I thought a lot about wat topic to write on. I can't write like those people who have been tagged and then they write the whole post about two things they hate most or five things they can't live without or their latest crush. I m sure you won't read that even if I try to.
I can't even write any fiction about how a guy danced around the trees and went on to woo his girl. I am no writer and you know that.
I can't even write about why Kashmir should not be an independent country or why Sensex would reach 25,000 in Mar 2011 or why Rafael Nadal is better than Roger Federer. I have opinions on each and everything u discuss but I can't convince how my opinion is better than yours.

Instead, I will write about people I encounter and how random they can get. How they leave you amazed,dazzled,dumbstruck etc. There was this guy in my college who saw this recharge coupon 16 digit number and memorized it in a glance. Then this guy who played awsome guitar with all our college girls surrounded to him(though jealous feeling was more than of enamoured one).

But people who amaze me the most are writers.For example I read some blogs and feel quite dumbstruck. There are many I connect and say it loud that I feel the same but I can't write the same. There are many I donot connect but feel drowned into wat they write.

But I am a strong votary of this opinion that-each guy in this earth is special and unique.
-------------------------thanx------------------------------------------------

PS: I put both my blogs for ratings and the result came as follows
1.vc's-6/10
2.I...-8.5/10

Read More

Of forks,knives and spoons

on public demand I write this...
If I suck then curse this lady who said "we write our best wen we r drunk"

Anyways my mind has loads of things running in it..like a perfect cocktail..U know i don't like cocktails.why do they mix up things. its like those remixes songs I can't bear.

You know my life has been full of culture shocks. And nostalgia peeping in me is pushing me to write abt that.

When I entered boarding school and begun to learn the culture of forks,knives and spoons.The story ahead is about my lyf then. The year 1993.

->The first word I heard in the school was "Pin-drop-Silence". A teacher shouted it at all of us and then there was sudden whole lot of lull.Think of a guy who came from a hindi medium school and has to connect first three words like pin, drop and silence in a hard core english medium school.

->mathematical tables were so hard to learn.specially the eighteen and the seventeen. And the recitation is even more stupid. eighteen-eight-zaa-one-hundred-forty-four and it goes on. Standing out of the maths class in Class 3 was a common phenomenon then.

->We wrote letters to our home. We had a period dedicated to letter writing.Every letter was same except in the last where we had to send regards to our elders and in the youngsters part we filled in the name of our sisters,brothers and cousins.But all parents thought it as a truly customized letter instead of a mass-production one!

->Last the concept of how a child is born was so puzzling to us. We had all ideas borrowed from movies. It began that when the actor kisses the actress the child is born. Then it went on to mere sleeping. Then further on and on. Then the seniors tell u the truth. Lastly the biology teacher puts a seal on the puzzle.

Read More

Its not just a biography

I am not good in English because I was born in a small town in Bihar. My parents could not afford to send me outside my hometown(read:homevillage) to pursue my education.But I have learned the mathematical tables from 1 to 20 very well. Probably that is the only thing I know fully by heart, apart from The Hanumaan Chaalisa(the forty lines prose sung in praise of Lord Hanuman).

But you know I like the English language very much. I don't know all of the Hindi alphabets(they are too many of them) but I remember all twenty six of the English ones and also one word each alphabet like A for apple and X for X-mas.

There is one neighbour of mine-very smart guy. He studied in a convent school in Dehradun. You know he recently married a girl who is not even of his caste. The girl came to our village last week. She is so-very good looking and I am also sure that one day when I learn English and talk English I will get a good girl.I tried talking to her and she was so good mannered. But all the old women(grannies of our village) gossip ill about her which I don't like.

Anyways, once my craving to learn the English language went beyond limits that I asked our landlord's son to bring some English movie cassette.But to my dismay the movie was a cheap one and I overheard- they call it a blue movie. Its one bad things about English-speaking people that they promote public display of affection far beyond extent. I don't like it.

Yesterday I asked my teacher the ways to improve English. He said to read English newspapers. So I bought this "Times of India". Yes even my village has accessibility to Times of India. Every news I read was either of rape or eve-teasing or "Kareena Kapoor-looking-hot" or "some gay parade". I didn't enjoy it.

I will talk about my dream. I dream of being a teacher. An English teacher. I will teach them English literature and English poems. Poetry fascinates me a lot.I will shape the young minds of my students like my next door neighbour(the potter) makes pottery from that raw earth.

Anyways I talk a lot. I better sleep as I have to wake up early and bathe some buffalos. May Lord Hanuman bless you all!!

Read More

Random Bullshit.

The one you love never loves you and the one who loves you you cannot love.Yes,Murphy has a true exponent in me.

Concept of love at first sight is crap.. I really fall for it everytime I travel by the Delhi bus Number 100.

There are people who read my blog's every post and every time their compliment goes like "I wasted my time". They r gonna read this one also.

There was one who read my blog and said " It is like Final Destination. The first parts were gud but the later parts we cud predict wats coming. hence i stopped reading." Dude, I know u wanted a mention in my coveted blog.You deserve it,Firaq!

The days I miss the most of my college was when we played soccer on the roof top in the rain. We used to wait for rain and ever always getting drenched in the rain has been slice of lyf to me.

When MJ died I felt the death of a connecting link.I was always mesmerized by the song "Heal the World" and I danced on the song dangerous on the stage in class 8th. One of the first music stars I ever adored. My very beginning of English music was gone and dead. Thats when I felt this pang.

Last times I went to the beach my slippers fell into the sea. But the sea returned it. My cell also fell into the sea. Sea returned it too.

................................................................................
PS: There is a post script to all the stories and trust me its the best part of the story. Though I was into deep sea dropping things into the sea fully sloshed on frenship day, the very concept of friendship is pious to me. I have been gifted with best fens around. This post if for u guys who taught me to smile watever be it.

Read More

Of fools and rats!!

Dear Reader,

Suddenly I feel I have too much of mental energy so I want it to drain that out. So I opted to write.Wow, wat a foolish utilization of extra energy.Obviously I know u wont go thru whole of wat I write. But think again do I care for u?

Anyways I dont have distinct topics to write about.I will talk of random things .Of fools and rats.Of money.Of pretense.Of people and at last of celebration of death.

Lemme begin with fools. They are in abundance, they are like rats.I dont like rats but most of the time I end up being one. I donno but I cant avoid being one. The rats wanted to be in the IITs, I too. The rats wanted to be in IIMs I too.I am a bigger rat I achieved wat I wanted. But now I dunno wat I want to be, but for sure rest of the rats want to earn money.

Off late people around me think that either I m always on weeds or I am in love with some girl who is a philosophy major or I am not getting proper sleep or I am faking 2 b somebody. Neither of them is true. They say this bcoz of the weird way I talk which confuses them. One of them even said that if I continue this way I will end up giving a quote of the millennium or century or even beyond.

Suddenly I picked up an ill feeling against piracy.Against pirated books, against pirated movies, against pirated music. I removed listening to music as a hobby from my resume because it has ceased to be a hobby. Its so easily available. Where is the scarcity and the marginal utility in listening to music? U get it for free.The value attached is gone. I am too selfish to care about those who dig music and the lesser revenue they get due to piracy. But ya for myself ,I am against piracy.

People are the most interesting things to me. The more complex ,the more interesting. I told you earlier that I like things I dont have or I dont am. I like artists of all forms-writers,dramatists,playwrights,musicians, choreographers.Many a times I feel I fight against them and U fight only against people who are superior to you. About the inferiors, you just beat them,no real fight's involved.

I had this dream where I was dancing around one dead corpse. I tried to refrain myself from doing so. But I danced so well that people around me forgot all the mourning and danced with me. Then Goddess(God to me is a female) came to me and says "This is the best thing you ever did, you celebrated the ultimate truth in the world-u celebrated death my son". Completely Weird naa.

Anyways now that all the energy I was brimming with is gone. I feel better.

For those who have read this far I pity you!

-vC

Read More

This post has subliminal messages.

when u get more than u deserve.. u dont want to lose it.there is a fear..same goes with happiness..and one day fear overpowers happiness.

But dont worry its cyclic. Even happiness overpowers fear.


--Scribbled by Vikas Chandra

Read More

Why do all hate him?

This guy cud be everybody's role model.He is different. But everybody hates him.I donno why because i tend to like this guy for he is different. He doesn't care.

Anyways I will put some points abt this guy and u decide whether is he worth hating?

1. Everybody says he is weird.But he says everyone is also weird.
2. He abuses a lot. Every sentence contains lots of F-word and he adds it to every part of speech he knows.
3. He doesn't drink.He doesn't smoke.No weed. Never. Probably guys like him do never need a high.
4. He always has a smirk on his face. An evil one.
5. He is lazy.He sleeps most of the tym.He quotes Beatles then:
Everybody seems to think I'm lazy
I don't mind, I think they're crazy
Running everywhere at such a speed
Till they find, there's no need
6.He is a fan of the club Hull City. If u dunno its one of the EPL clubs.
7.He only talks properly to his sister that too she is not of same blood as him. She was her school Junior and she prepared rakhi on Rakshabandhan to tie it one guy who rejected it. Suddenly she was weeping and this guy allowed her to tie it on her hand.


Thats it. I cud go on and on. But I m sure it wudn't fetch him much due wat he is worthy of.
_____________________________________________________________________________

PS: I dont know why I wrote all this.

Read More

The teacher

I was rummaging through my closet.
Then I found this note.
about 16 years old.

This note is about Ma'am Bhatia
My class teacher then.
It says

When I grow up
I would like to be you ma'am
A teacher.
I would also give some one
an expensive fountain pen
when his hand-writing is bad.
I would also give sweets to my children
when they spell the word bureaucracy right.
And when its their last day
I will bless them and say
Go, never ever die for a cause, just live for it.
________________________________________________________________________________
PS: Ma'am Bhatia was my first class teacher at Oak Grove,Mussoorie. She practically taught me everything from being nice to all to the mathematics-table-of-nineteen. I owe a lot to her and she was one of the most inspirational women I ever met.
Truly a bad teacher complains, a good teacher explains and the best teacher inspires.

Read More

Tale of two girls

In my lyf I only dated two girls: one was undersmart and the other oversmart.

and trust me I loved undersmart more than the oversmart.

UNDERSMART: She was like-never understanding anything I said. She liked the latest bollywood songs with Sharukh in it.She laughed at every PJ I cracked. She liked my nose because its sharp. I remember she bought me a card for me worth Rs. 20 by paying worth Rs 100. just because shop-keeper duped her. I hated her because she compromised me everytime I was late for the date. She never read and she always tugged my Tshirt wen we passed by any bollywood movie poster.She was a teetotaler rather a gud passive smoker I shud say.

OVERSMART: She always intervened in my talks, enquired about everything. All my gud jokes were like PJ to her. She had read Mein Kampf and boasted about it.She demanded the diamond ear-ring wen i cud afford the golden for her.She had the notion that boys dont cry. And all men wanted to sleep with the girl they ever dated.A self proclaimed feminist she was. She used to smoke as a symbol for emancipation of the women soul.

Anyways both were really gorgeous women--the two women who ever entered my life. Today I miss them both. One needed learning and other unlearning.I cud do that both. But i didn't want to destroy their purity. They were pure and pristine!!!!!!!!!!

Read More

The Crap Couple

There was this-crap guy..who talked nothing but crap(bakwaas in hindi) and then there was this girl who also talked nothing but crap.

They were the only two people in the world whose lives were untouched by the financial recession.They considered money as their biggest competitor and they always said there's no bigger crap than money. So they rejoiced the downfall of their competitor. They thanked their friends(read-MBAs) who helped them in such a downfall and even asked them to form a cartel.A cartel of gassing(another term for crap).

But then, they had their own world of pot,alcohol,coke,brown sugar,hash, etcetera.

One day their worlds collided and they met in a mall. They were the only two people smiling in the mall apart from the popcorn sellers at the multiplex(gawd they earn so much).

They had the aura around them and the people feared them.They cud mock at anybody and laugh at them.In short they were two crazy people untarnished.

Now when they met it was like a lightning and then they talked and gibbered and no one understood.

It was like Emily Bronte met Mario Puzo.

The king of crap and the queen of crap then finally did something. All around people cud hear that sound but still they cudn't see wat happened because of the blazing light coming from the two.

Later they knew they slapped each other for not having met before.

watta crap!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS: I m really sorry to two legends-Emily Bronte and Mario Puzo for dragging them into such a cess-pool(my blog).

Read More

To all the CHIN lovers

Everything that began had to end but at the tender age of 27.

YA.CHIN committed suicide in the year 2030.

Her suicide note:

Since, All greats die at the age of 27.

JANIS JOPLIN Died October 4th, 1970
JIM MORRISON died July 3rd, 1971
JIMMY HENDRIX died September 18th, 1970
KURT COBAIN died April 5th, 1994

I was standing all along the watch tower.
then I found my stairway to heaven.I m taking it.
I leave away the piece of my heart.
All apologies for that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She was so muddled into rock music and ya we are yet to discover her greatness.

Read More

Reviews:Autobiography of an unknown girl

Note: Before reading this .please read the original post "Autobiography of an unknown girl"

Hi, this is not CHIN but myself who messed it up in the last post. I haven't got such wildest of reviews for any of my other posts and hence the autobiography of an unknown girl is special to me.
Actually I should have limited it to being a biography but I wanted to say it in a words of a 6 year old girl and hence messed it up.

I wanted to convey so many things and also didn't want to bore the readers with a long one. Hence messed it up.

I wanted to talk about Indian cricket craze. The poor sex ratio.the quacks. but most important the education scene where the moral education class is not wat it supposed to be.Hence too many in one messed it up.

The style of writing was too casual and seemed only a drunkard cud write this.
Anyway the best part I wud like to post some of the reviews here::

Ved(IIMK):i din understd the post.read twice.. :( how is it related to sachin n cricket?

Tanu(IIMK): oye...its as outrageous as possible..i mean, wt is that....kitne peg ke baad likha tha??....actually the effect that you are trying to achieve is not coming...see, you this style is hard to get, especially teh efeect that this kind of stories create.so, practise

Utkarsh(ISM):it was down to earth and true..better than criticising the education system with heaviest of words.

pYrO(ISM): ye baat kuch hajam nahi hui ...kya convey karna chahte ho??..ek point hai the pathetic sex ratio in india.but wat is the main point?

Anurag(ISM): sahi to last waaala...nice conflict..fiction par kood gaye...booker leye ke maanoge kaa vikas babu.

nP(ISM) :i don't get it. what i being told ? does generate a flow anyhow. hoping to see more of it, where does CHIN land up eventually.by the way, was it an Autobiography, or a Biography told in first person ?

Chinmayee(Singhania school): These words sound like they belong to an artist. It's one of the most uncomfortably touching piece i've read. Whenever something touches you truly, you want to embrace it... but thats not the case here. There's got to be something more to this... Something I don't know of........

Siddharth(ISM): bhai......pahli baar mein to everything went above my head..........bahut ooocha sochta hai yaar.......lekin yeh sirf darooo k baad hi kyun???

nihit(ISM): its out of human league to comprehend..i guess



So, U understand how dear the post has become to me. I enjoyed writing it more than anything.

Thanks all.Love U.Your reviews have made it much more meaningful.
and ya I am no artist but a messed up,intoxicated person who just tries too many things and also nearly screws up with most of them.But i love this -LIVING on the EDGE thing.

Read More

Autobiography of an unknown girl

Well, to introduce myself, I was born on 1st March 2003.If U people don't remember this date,then to remind U ,it was the day Sachin Tendulkar tormented Pakis in the world cup with his brilliant 97.Hence they call me "CHIN"(sachin minus S and A).I hate this name and find it too stupid.

I have two sisters and no brother and my father is also a lonely brother to 6 sisters. So we have dearth of men at our home but my grandmother says that our family contributes a lot in improving the dilapidated sex ratio of India.

But my father met a doctor shyly because he wants to have a son.But Dr. Patel says that my father has only x chromosome and y chromosome was necessary to produce a male child.My second sister says that Dr. Patel is a quack.

My eldest sister is doing MBA from Indraprastha Institute of Management.She is such an innocent girl that she would never lie or cheat.But she failed in her business ethics paper. I cried a lot that night because I thought she was the most ethical person I knew.

My second sister is studying in class 8th. She is herself a quack like Dr. Patel.She lies and she cheats.But yesterday she called to inform me that she had scored 100 out of 100 in her moral education paper. I cried again because she was the most immoral person I knew.

Read More

Three Friends

There were three friends named 'mypast' , 'mypresent' and 'myfuture'..the relationship amongst them can be eulogized as frenship but they were all on fighting terms...All wanted to prove that they were superior to others and in no way their vendetta for each other was a healthy one..They were also called the Three Musketeers not after the book but because their frens were devout fans of Danny Boyle.

They were of 3 different generations...however their birthdays were the same..'Mypresent' was the most emotional of them...and 'mypast' and 'myfuture' were most of the tym successful in either scaring 'mypresent' or tickling him. but the two were aware that the two were dependent on 'mypresent'..If 'mypresent' died..all died.

Now a piece of their conversation(brawl).


'Mypast': I am the best of U..I played for U - the cricket with one tip one hand rule..I am the proof how U bunked classes.How foolish a toddler U were,how stupid an a child and how dud an adolescent.I remind U how U guys boozed first...I remind U of that football on the roof and how U always watched Shawshank Redemption umpteen number of times with the same passion...

'Myfuture': I amused U the most..How U dream of dating the most beautiful girl..How U dream of owning a BMW..how U hope of sitting in the emirates and drinking in the arsenal pub..I have the power of taking U to the biggest of heights and the kiss the most beautiful of the girls in the world.Thats me--'myfuture'.

'Mypresent' sat in the corner smiling,smirking .Then he had a gulp of the chilled Corona beer and said---" Guys get a break I m gonna pee". The rest two Muskeeters followed!!!

-------------------------------Thank You------------------------

PS- this piece is an outcome of few pints of beer(an excuse for the shit I wrote!!)

Read More

Fourteenth of February 2009

Its valentines day and everything's same except that I resorted to make the day different by listening to love songs only and watching two or three romantic movies..Atleast it wud keep me abreast with wat love is!!!!

The day was different in the sort that the messages I received in the morning were not the usual academic messages(like when's marketing class) ..... Some messages made me realise that I was single(just as my status at Orkut even states).

Valentines day is a day just for a specific section of society---committed,married,gays,lesbians,bisexuals,dreamers,fanatsizers...thats how they have limited love today.Sorry i forgot the day is for another section of people too--the diseased RAM SENA sort.
Quoting Arindhati Roy- "when U define love U limit it" for my love to frens shud be defined on frenship day.DAD on fathers day. and my mom on mothers day and I donno when wud they have a laptop day(because I m now obsessed to my materialistic laptop for it gives me a virtual world of my own).

Oh please dont use that word again--critic..for U always come up with that sick cliche of yours--that i always knew the price of everything and value of none...but I know the value of my laptop ..thats wats going to bring change in my lyf today with some romantic songs in the air and perhaps a romantic flick....See how easy it is to be a self-proclaimed loser!!!

Read More