Learning to fly (A story)

Like any other day, he went and sat in that park with a book in his hand. He liked noticing around: the trees, people jogging, children playing, flowers blossoming, freshly painted benches. He was relishing the freshly blossomed flowers beside the bench he sat on, until he noticed a colourful butterfly attempting to fly. It seemed that the butterfly was very young; just developed from a caterpillar. He enjoyed noticing her although with a sense of sympathy that she was unable to fly. In order to see the flying attempt closely, he lowered his eyes and came very close to her. She got scared but unable to fly, she just sat on the leaf from which she was attempting to fly.

He just uttered to himself 'Oh don't feel scared. I will not hit you' and in response she moved her head. It seemed to him that the butterfly was listening to him. And after several trials he was convinced that the butterfly could actually listen to her. He started asking questions to the butterfly and surprisingly found that she could answer in 'yes' or 'no'. If she meant 'yes', the butterfly would flap her wings twice and if 'no' she did nothing. He rejoiced at the discovery. He tested the butterfly : "are you a butterfly?" and the butterfly flapped the wing twice and and when she was asked "are you a man?" she did not flap her wings. He asked her many yes or no questions and got reply to all the questions with either two flaps or nil. Finally it was evening and he said bye to the butterfly and asked her whether she wanted to wish him too. The butterfly flapped her wings twice.

Later in the evening, he did a lot of research on net whether the butterfly could listen and understand human language and found that they could not. There was no literature on internet to explain such a phenomenon. It seemed weird to him, but then he was very sure that his butterfly was real. Later, he researched on net, various theories and principles on how butterflies fly.

Next day, he went to the butterfly who was again attempting to fly. He narrated her whatever he learnt on youtube as to how butterflies fly. The butterfly applied the theory (told to her by the new friend) and she could actually fly.

Everyday he went and sat on the same bench and in the evening would talk to the butterfly who would flap her wings in affirmation. He was so happy in the digital replies of his new friend. He would tell her about everything predominantly the office and his ex-girlfriend. The butterfly would just listen quietly and at times just show  her different stunts in the sky. Everyday, he felt light as the butterfly became his colorful diary he would confess into.

One day, he was promoted in the office and was asked to change his location to Mumbai. He gladly accepted the offer as it was a good sign in his career (although he was sad that he would miss his new friend). So in the evening he told the butterfly about the offer and asked the butterfly whether she was sad. The butterfly did not flap the wings. When he asked her whether she was happy, she flapped. He told her that he was initially skeptical about Mumbai but now that she is happy, he will have no regrets. He told that his new office was close to Marine drive and that every evening post work he will sit there as he really enjoyed the sea and the lights.

Post a final goodbye, he moved to Mumbai and sat at Marine drive often. He missed his butterfly friend a lot because the absorbing sea was not able to supplant the diary she had become. One fine evening while he was sitting at Marine drive, he was surprisingly delighted to find his colorful friend hovering joyously. He rejoiced at the idea that his friend had traveled all the way to meet him. That evening he told her everything about Mumbai, everything from the day he left Delhi till that very day. He felt so happy about it.

When it was the time to leave, the butterfly fluttered her wings a lot as if to say something. But he was so happy at the sight of the butterfly that he did not notice it much.

Next day, he came to marine drive and sat for hours but the butterfly did not come. It happened for days but he could not see the butterfly until he rewinded his last meeting with the butterfly in his mind. He realised that she wanted to say something to him but was handicapped between a 'yes' and a 'no'. He sat there and smiled at the nostalgia of onesidedness of his talks with the butterfly....

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Rishikesh Diaries

                                                                                                                                            Rishikesh,
                                                                                                                                            01.08.2015

Part 1
An early morning, its raining heavily here and I sit by my window writing these transient thoughts before they evaporate to these fleeting clouds. Rains play a deterrent role to people who want to go somewhere but for me, who is going nowhere, it is a pleasant sight. The clouds banging in the mountains, rains falling on the tin roof, its a musical treat to my ears. It facilitates my escape from the city of my actions to the hills and the mountains of my reverie.

Part 2
In Rishikesh, arrive two genre of seeking people: Indians and foreigners.. Indians flock in masses and hover around the temples seeking religious blessings whereas foreigners flock in individually and hover around ashrams seeking that well advertised Oriental spirituality. I wonder how many really find what they seek. I am an outsider, an ascetic in my own religion, escaping my city discontentment, here for the river, for the mountains and for the clouds.

Part 3
I sat in that dilapidated bookshop near Lakshman Jhoola, flipping through the pages of second hand books, thus ignoring my life in the most agreeable fashion. And then I felt a tug on my shoulder only to realise that it was the old man who was the owner of the bookshop. I have visited his shop often to actually befriend him. But this afternoon visit to the bookshop was a bit sad because of the changes in the arrangement of books: what I considered good books had taken a back shelf and best sellers laid ahead. I asked the owner as to why such a trend specially by a man who was a lover of books. He said that he hardly visited the shop anymore and that his son was taking charge of the shop. He smiled and added: "Son, you are so old school like that girl who keeps fighting with me to allow her to borrow books from my shop, my son refuses her because he thinks she should pay to buy. I usually ask my son to allow her to borrow as the books which she reads hardly sell these days".

Part 4
I bought lot of Panchtantra and Amar Chitra Katha books from the bookshop and went searching for a school to donate it to. I found a school in Rishikesh but realised that my books would not be valued much by the children of fairly well-to-do parents of that school. So I went up the Himalayas looking for a village where I could donate them. On my way, I met a girl and asked her if there was a school nearby. She said there was no school but an orphanage and that she worked there. I asked her to take me there. Together and apart we walked along the hill's sharply turning paths to the distant orphanage. Foreign to us, our steps were united, but they also went separately, for we were two different minds, unaware of what was going in each other's minds. We were almost quiet until I handed over those books to which she just thanked me for the rare act.

Part 5
 In the evening, I sat by the Ganges reading my book, listening to songs,observing that beautiful solemn sadness in all great things- in high mountains, in the vociferous river. As a pleasant break from those particularly lucid moments of contemplation, I saw that same orphanage girl stepping down the ghats towards me. Truth or untruth, she told me that she spent her evenings at the same place. Unlike last time, this rendezvous of ours was not silent but we discussed life in general. I realised she was quite discontented with her city life and had thus had quit her city job and spent time in the orphanage. She blamed too much advertising for most of the city problems. How every advertisement showed happy, good looking people and promised how buying their product will make them happy. In the midst of her talk, she asked me if I was happy and contented and I said nothing but smiled. She told that I looked like a guy who was beyond dimensions of happiness and sadness. We talked and talked until it started raining heavily.....

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On my birthday

Part 1:


 Yesterday, I played with these two kids: jumped with them to my auto timed camera, swung on the swing tied to the tree, caught goats by the hills, shared some innocent smiles, showed them some shapes in the night sky. But today, on my birthday, as I leave this beautiful place, I have this strong urge to wish the two children a final good bye. I have enjoyed a cosy homestay in their beautiful house as well. And thus, I try knocking on one of their doors to ask for the whereabouts of the children. Their mother comes out and she tells me that the children have left for the school and wouldn't be back in another hour. A bit sad, I take out 4 chocolates from my bag and hand them over to the polite mother to finally give them to the children. I also handover those notebooks and books I carried from Delhi. (I usually carry books and notebooks whenever I travel to such places to give it to a local school). She tells me that the children won't read as they are very naughty. I tell her that the books have lots of pictures in it. I get a bit confused whether to tell her that it is my birthday today. I finally decide not to. The mother after accepting the chocolates smilingly asks me to come inside and have tea and she also compliments that I had been a good guest and that the children really loved me. I choke a bit and try to politely refuse her offer for tea. So, I just thank her for offering tea, pay her money for the homestay, and leave the place to spend some time on the ridge alone. I sit there and imagine those smiling faces of children  consuming those chocolates. I quietly wish myself a happy birthday.....

Part 2:
I sat on her shop waiting for my bus which would take me to the city.  In the morning I had bought 4 chocolates from her for those children. She had a very simple face and adorned a constant smile on it. She did everything from her shopkeeping to answering my questions smilingly, as if she was enjoying everything. I asked her name, what did she do and what she wanted to be. She replied her name and that she had just passed Class 12 and wanted to be a teacher. I told her that when I also grow old, I would  want to be a teacher. She smiled on this and asked 'how much more old?'. My bus arrived and I wanted to thank her for her time. I knew she would not accept any money tip from me, so I bought 4 more chocolates from her shop. And I finally waved her goodbye and to which she smilingly shouted "Happy Birthday".

I had never told her that it was my birthday and neither did I pick up any birthday calls which she could overhear. It was a magical birthday, indeed.
   

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Wrong love vs Right love

Dear students,

Welcome to the new lecture. The topic is a very interesting one. Today we talk about 'wrong love vs right love'. I will try to keep it very simple and crisp, but a lot of homework has to be done post the lecture for a better understanding. So lets start.

Two right people say A and B and two wrong people say X and Y were in love with each other. By right and wrong, I mean A and B were perfectly right for each other and X and Y were perfectly wrong for each other. When A and B walked together, everyone said ,'look-at-them-don't-they-look-cute-together'. When X and Y walked together, friends of  X would say, 'seriously-out-of-all-people-that-girl' and friends of Y would, 'please-leave-that-guy'. When A and B  posted their selfie together on facebook, they would get 500+ likes while X and Y would get less than 5 likes.

Now let us understand this numerically:
Let us assume that aura is a function which tells us about perfectness of two people (one relative to another) and also maximum aura score, one can get is 6. Since, in the above case, A and B are about good together. So let us safely assume aura(A,B)=5 because the highest score ever received in history of mankind is that of aura(Lord Rama, Goddess Sita) was 6. Also let us assume, for our ease of understanding, that perfectness of A to B is same as B to A, so aura (B,A) = 5. See, all of this is an assumption because aura(A,B) need not be equal to aura(B,A).

Now love is nothing but a multiplication of two auras.We will use a function love to show love between A and B .
So, love (A and B)= aura(A,B) * aura (B,A)
       love(A and B) = 5 * 5 = 25
(You could easily understand that love between Lord Ram and Goddess Sita was 36 (6*6), yes you have got it right, this score is nothing but the 'guna' score told by an astrologer who does kundali matching before hindu marriages.)

Anyways, now let us understand the love between X and Y. Since theirs is a wrong love, assume aura(X,Y)= -5 and also aura(Y,X)= -5.
So love (X and Y) = -5*-5 = 25

Now, as you can see in both the above cases, the destination of their love was +25, but the journey  A and B took was +5 to +25 (20 steps) and X and Y took was -5 to +25 (30 steps).

Haha. So hope you have understood some basic concepts of love here. I know its not that simple, but you have to start somewhere.

 Now go back and think about these questions and come with some replies.

1. What happens in unrequited love? (Hint: the journey of one of them is longest  in the same)
2.  The aura of Nowhere Man with everyone is zero. Does that mean he is incapable of love or capable of impossible love?

See you in next class. The suggested reading with this lecture is Difficult Loves by Italo Calvino.

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Cursed.

A couple after getting married in Mumbai realised that they suffered a curse where they could not love each other at the same time. The wife could love husband for 12 hours while the husband could love the wife for the remaining 12 hours. They were deeply bothered for their love was not mutual at any particular instant of time.

When they googled and found that several couples in India had suffered same problem. And few of them could get it resolved through a Baba sitting in Himalayas. The couple immediately rushed to Himalayas to meet the Baba. The Baba asked certain questions and diagnosed that this was a curse given by an ex-lover of the wife. The wife after a quick thinking decided that it must have been Ravi. Ravi had loved her a lot and had also got a tattoo of her name in his arm. Baba told them to get Ravi to him and then he would suggest a cure for it.

The couple rushed to Delhi where Ravi lived and Ravi was happy to see the girl he had deeply loved. The three traveled to Himalayas where Baba suggested that if the wife kissed Ravi, the curse would vanish and couple could love each other for full 24 hours. The couple had a long discussion where wife convinced the reluctant husband that it was a one time pain for a long time gain. The husband, with a deep sadness, allowed the wife to kiss Ravi.

Post the Himalayan kiss, the couple left for Mumbai happily, but they realised that the Baba's cure had worked but only for 4 hours. They still could not love each other for 20 hours at the same time. They waited for some time and again rushed to Baba. Baba suggested that the wife had not kissed Ravi properly. Ravi was called again and after a long debate between wife and husband, husband allowed his wife to kiss Ravi. Afterall, it was a one time pain for a long time gain. After a long kiss, the couple went back to Mumabi and realised that the curse had gone off only for 10 hours (still 14 hours were not mutual). Again they went to Baba and Ravi was called and long kiss happened after the debate. It was only after three intimate kisses, the curse went off for 24 hours.

But while in Mumbai, the wife realised that Ravi was a much better kisser than her husband. Probably he was a better lover too. She started exchanging whatsapp messages with Ravi and more she tried to know Ravi, more she regretted of having rejected Ravi. Ravi was also happy to interact with his old love. Slowly the whatsapp exchanges grew and phone calls also increased. It was then Ravi started visiting Mumbai often and met his ex-lover. The affair started and they were convinced that they were in love with each other. Finally, one day the wife told the husband about her love for Ravi and asked for divorce so that she could marry Ravi. The husband was devastated for he loved his wife a lot. But he had no other choice but to divorce his wife.

After the divorce, Ravi married his ex-lover and the wife became his wife. But then after the marriage, they realised that they could not love each other at the same time. The same 12 hour curse curse had now hit Ravi and wife. Both ran to the baba and baba told that someone had cursed them. It was the husband. Finally husband was called and he was asked to kiss. Same story of Ravi and wife repeated between husband and wife. And after 3 rounds of kissing, the curse went off and wife shifted to Delhi. But then the wife realised that the husband was a better kisser.  She started exchanging whatsapp messages with her ex-husband.  Finally the same process of whatsapp-phonecall-meetings-divorce-curse-baba-kisses-marriage happened between husband and wife.

The life of the wife juggled between Delhi and Mumbai, between Ravi and husband. It was only  that the kissing in the Himalayas, facilitated by the Baba, which proved to be a rare brief crack of light in her life while she juggled between curses.

“The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness"- Nabokov, Speak Memory

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The fall and the rise

Part 1: The fall

He prepared very hard for this interview, mugged up even the last 3 years profit margins of his dream company, researched on the interviewer's LinkedIN profile, dressed up in his lucky suit. 

He was doing well in his interview, solving all the cases, answering about how-he-will-change-the-world and failures-that-taught-him-a-lot. But then alas, something happened. The interviewer who was arrogantly swiveling on his chair fell. The interviewer's fall was so comic, that he could not help but chuckle. But soon he gathered that it was his interview and thus he rushed to help the interviewer get up.

Obviously, he was not selected for the job because the interviewer did not want someone in his office who reminded him of his ludicrous fall....

Part 2: The rise

His college time ex-girlfriend went on to become an internet obsession after she wrote an article titled '10 best guys I slept with'. This article was seen as the rise of a feminist movement where Indian girls could speak freely about their sexual encounters. She had mentioned him at the number one rank (the best guy she slept with) and had been very explicit in her description (she needed to justify why was he best). 

His wife got this article forwarded to her from her colleague, packaged with a sarcastic comment that she was a lucky woman. The wife choked reading the article and could not read ahead of the midway as everything was so explicitly written.

The husband also got to know about the article from a colleague. He read the article but found his past too explicit for his taste. He even contemplated taking the girl to the court but feared due to the number of retweets and number of likes  the article had got. The world was praising the rise of new bold womanhood who talked about her experiences so openly....

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In that very circle

We both ran behind each other
In that very circle
At times I was ahead, at times she
But we kept running in that very circle.

When I ran behind her, she became a woman
When she ran behind me, she became a girl
But I was always a boy running in that very circle

We never stood still at one silly point
We never changed the radius of our very circle
while she kept modulating her speed,
At times the woman faster and the girl slower
But I kept running at the same speed in that very circle.

I wondered who made us run behind each other.
And in the center thus sat the love
Which made us both run wild
In that very circle.....

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Who is sure?

Why am I not a star?
Why am I not a sun?
I am just a point, running and running, 

a random point on a random circle.

Just whirling around.
Less or more, I don't know.
Questions are huge, who is sure?

Running away from real, escaping towards life.
Blissful sensations of positive sadness or the hollow joy of victory.
What is the centre of your circle?
Questions are huge, who is sure?

The souls worn out of mediocrity.
In the race of tangibles, losing on intangibles.
Better or worse, its relative.
Where is the absolute?
Questions are huge, who is sure?

-vC

(Dedicated to a friend who is shivering in the minus 12 degrees of Annandale, Washington DC)

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An artist and a monk

He was a complete microcosm in himself.  He was the watcher and he was also the watched. He sat in the woods where he mocked, doubted and laughed at himself. He loved himself and simultaneously hated himself (for both have similar intensity). In short he was both: an artist and a monk.

Artist: Do you have to try hard to keep yourself happy? 
Monk: I don't know happy. But life is easy. Its like sea waves. Leave your body in it. Enjoy the waves. Don't try to fight the waves. I mean I don't. Its the nature of the waves to take you to the shore. So one day I will also reach, for sure. Just leave yourself in the sea and enjoy. So much beauty around. Trees, animals, kids, clouds, stars. Aah its amazing. For if you try to fight the waves you might win the ephemeral battle but you will lose the long lasting war.
People have a tendency to fight the waves. And worst is that they end up fighting the wave which is calmer for they can't fight the strong waves. That's a mistake because it is in a calm wave you notice things more around you. The octopus, the dolphin, the starfish, the walrus,the turtle. I mean when life is slow people get bothered and want to quicken the pace. That's why they discovered video games, cars and tv while ignoring simple pleasures like playing outdoors, watching the stars.

Artist: You are right I feel I am always in a hurry wanting to reach somewhere I don't know where! Just to avoid where I am.
Monk: You are right, we are the only creatures who refuse to be what we are, how we are and where we are. Don't fight the waves. Flow with it. One of the ideas involved with the concept of entropy is that nature tends from order to disorder systems in isolated systems. Which means that mind will go towards chaos if left alone. Hence your hurry. So you need to control your mind. And through what is more important. I think art is the best solution. Nature is the best art. Try poetry, magic ,painting, fiction, aesthetics, any piece of art. Now you will say that art is a lie, its a fiction and hence not the truth. Isn't it ironical it is the lie which is setting you free? While men have the curse that they refuse to be what they are, they also have this gift of imagination.  Its the imagination which sets him free. And when you sit in the most beautiful surroundings of those hills, you have that infinite imagination which dissolves you, divides you (a finite) and makes you feel zero. Don't you aspire for that?

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