Saturday, August 28, 2010

A letter

Dear friend,

You always knew how ancient a person I was. In this era of mobile phones and e-mails, I indulge myself in letter writing and that too I am writing to you, you of all the people.

1. Well, its been 4 months in Mumbai and probably each day I learn a new lesson. Lessons about life, all the realities (cruelties) it carries along. Its been so much that at times I feel my mind will burst out.

2. You know , during my early days in Mumbai, while travelling in the local train, I used to clutch my wallet and keep it close to me. But now I don't care. Having lost so much here, I am not scared to lose anymore.

3. All the time, I wish to go underground. Its not just work alone. These wishes are an after-thought of many factors. Personal/ professional. Nothing wrong per say, but going underground would definitely help me get back to square one. But every time I want to go out of this city, things dont materialise. My boss cancels my leave and when I argue, he threatens to fire me.

4. Definitely.. I am looking for something I don't have. Sitting in my office I always wonder if the 4 yrs of engineering and 2 years of MBA was to end up as a clerk.I guess I am just an aimless meandering soul, confused like all others.

5. There is a window in my office. If I am not working, I stand there all the time. I get a view of the local trains, the cars running on the marine drive and the sea. It really helps- standing there. Sea changes its colors as per the sky and it gives a great feeling. The trains and the cars are also very relaxing. They signify that its very important in life to move on. Now I fully understand why they say that the greatest invention in man-kind was the wheel!!

I want to write so much. But I will have to restrain myself..I will wait for your reply and then further aware u of my life. btw I daily read your diary which u gifted to me. It gives me great courage and trust me now I understand the words better.

-vC

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Hope, nostalgia and that hollow-waala-stud!!

When he sat by the sea and watched people smile at him, a sudden wave of nostalgia hit him. He was reminded of the first girl he kissed..A kiss at 4AM in the morning in a car parked by the Delhi roads...Yeah it was not at all a good kiss by any measure bcoz it was the first time for both of them..But isn't it that most mess-ups make for fonder memories than most of the victories?

Well she was the girl who gave him the identity, made him the person he was..She gave him the confidence to kick-ass and smile..That don't-care attitude was all hers transferred very well to him..He even borrowed her quotes...Her favourite being " The very definition of a stud is hollow" and later she used to add " and u r not that hollow-waala-stud"..He used to smile every time.

Both have loads in common but the most common thing they believed was in happy ending..Now that she was gone to some foreign country pursuing her Masters and the void and the vacuum of his seemingly infallible life had enveloped him, he looked at the sea to gain that strength back...

Not that he regrets having lost her , lost her in time, lost her in space,lost her in translation... Lost because sometimes he made good choices,but mostly he made silly ones and later sat and wondered why.....

-vC

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

New Religion


Dear human beings,

I am going to a start a new religion. The name shall be told to you in the very next post. The God is there as it always was, but u got a new messenger in me..

Dont laugh, I am serious...

Well I shall not preach wat others have been preaching- shits like love and all.
I cant help you in seeking happiness.. Happiness is just a lame concept.rather a creation of human mind..

U, human beings think that u r better than animals but trust me its not..>Go back to animal-ism..Stop thinking...Ok u humans dont know much about psychic of animals so I tell u- Be a machine...I hope u know wat a machine is..Don't think..be neutral to this world..emotionally, psychologically.

Its just the beginning so I wud end the formal announcement of the religion here..


But my last advise wud b - dont tell anybody abt this new religion because they wud not be able to understand it and mock at u..You can utter that a new religion is formed but no telling the details..

Thats it. Now u may proceed to your usual facebooking or tweeting. May the world survive beyond 2012.

-vC


“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?”
—Charles Bukowski, Factotum, Black Sparrow Press, 1975

Friday, August 13, 2010

God loves us all.

OK So this is called pain.. Which asshole said "its beautiful". Its bloody crappy..

Friends leave you not because they stop being friends but because you become crappy enough to be bore by them...

Time becomes so slow, so fucking slow....

The boss asks you to resign and leave. You feel like quitting but then u stay to pay your debts and not hurt your family, you stay on...

So many people console you for good but nothing goes in...

You are the sad man...

All of them give you that shit of all jobs being cranky and me being new, feeling might be worse. Please know that a guy at my position committed suicide and only I can surely understand what must he have been driven to....

Tears fail to fall because even your lachrymal glands are also bored of it...

Probably u will end up hating this post of mine but this post is a tight slap to those big authors who wrote that "Pain is beautiful" bullshit...

God loves us all. Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha.
-vC